1. Letting you watch whatever TV show you want to watch without judging you silently or otherwise. Wine will let you watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians, The Mindy Project, The Voice, and whatever Lifetime movie is on, and it won’t complain at all.
2. Fitting in anywhere. You don’t have to worry about bringing wine to a party where they don’t know anyone, because either wine already does know everyone there, or wine will be social anyway because wine isn’t afraid to talk to people it doesn’t know, which means you don’t have to spend the whole party in the corner with wine so they don’t feel left out.
3. Not making excuses. Wine will never be “too tired” when you want to have a good time. Plus, wine will do whatever you want with you, even if it just means chilling on the couch. And wine isn’t going to make you do something that you’re not really in the mood for, either.
4. Being delicious. Wine tastes and smells amazing, and you won’t ever get tired of it.
5. Being completely open and honest. When it comes to wine, you don’t have to worry about it not opening up to you, because wine is great at opening up to you without you having to bed or ask a thousand leading questions.
6. Not making you decide if it’s going to be it or your friends. Wine will always do what you want, so if you want to go hang out with your friends, wine is totally cool with that and it will stay at home and chill while you go out and have a good time. Or, wine will come with you, and you know that all of your friends are totally cool with wine coming to hang out.
7. Getting you drunk without having ulterior motives. Sure, wine will get you drunk sometimes, but it also isn’t doing it to get into your pants. Wine just wants you to have a good time and to feel good.
Image source: flickr/lilymonster
8. Wine never asks you what’s for dinner. Wine is what’s for dinner, actually.
9. Wine will never judge you. Literally, it will never judge. It’s seen you cry listening to a One Direction song and it still comes back for more. No one knows why. It just happens. I’m not complaining.
10. Wine can make you smile without even trying. Try having a glass of wine without blushing… Just try.
11. Wine always knows what you want. And what you want is wine. Wine is what you want. What relationship could be better?
12. Everyone loves wine. You don’t have to worry about your friends or your family or your co-workers disliking wine because everyone loves wine. Maybe wine isn’t their type (perhaps they prefer beer or a vodka soda), but no one hates wine. You’ve scored someone (or something) that everyone loves. You go girl.
13. Wine is always there for you. When the going gets tough… there’s always wine. Rough day at the office? Wine. Bad fight with a friend? Wine. Maxed out your credit card? Wine. Ex got married? Wine. Wine will be there for you in ways that no man ever could be. Seriously, girl. You’re not going to do any better than wine…
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